Warning!!!!!!!!! If Mr Spock knows your mother you must be alerted. I am legally abliged to notify you of this matter of national concern!

I have been forced by the government of the United Kingdom (god bless e'm) to warn you of a new issue of national concern that is affecting everyone in the country.

Mr Spock is on a rampage. If he knows your mother then please notify the police force by calling the emergency services.

This sick pervert is targeteng peoples mothers for their earlobes, trying to find the pointiest ones. The reason is because his have dropped off due to a rare disease that only Vulcans catch.

The name is too lodgical to explain to my viewers clearly less superior minds.

Anyway, if Mr Spock comes anywhere near anyones mother just use the power of waffles to protect you and your family. For first class waffle protection hire waffle man to save you from Spock and his poiny ear fetish.

For now, live long and prosper.